Just breathing a mammoth sigh of relief; been giving exams, vivas, project presentations and all that degree related stuff; left,right and center for the past 3 and half months. I haven't had time to get a haircut or a shave and now look like a famished and weak War Zone Refugee (No offence to War Zone Refugees, if any are reading). Amidst the fury of exam season, I`ve had quite a few 'Oh Mother Earth Swallow Me' moments which are basically instants in which you wish the earth would actually break open beneath you and swallow you completely till the embarrassment passes away or pacifies.
Moment 1:
Background: Weekly Skype Call with home.
Amma: Appa tells me, you have some new neighbors. Where are they from? Are there a lot of Chinese people?
Me: Yes Ma, there are some new people who have moved into the floor, they're very friendly.
I hear a knock on my door and go answer it to see my neighbor from Hong Kong standing there offering me a slice of her birthday cake.
Amma,watching the entire scene unfold, thanks to the power of Broadband Internet.
Amma: You stay away from the Chinese Okay(Stern Voice), they will act all friendly and trap you. Especially those Chinese girls, they'll trap with you with their silky hair and their Chopsuey making skills. It's an international conspiracy I tell you.
Before I could respond to her utterly racist and stereotypical observation,
Appa: Dont worry, the girl isn't BLIND to fall for him.
Oh Mother Earth Swallow Me, I think to myself as I proceed to close the door and find the Birthday Celebrating girl standing there giving me the coldest possible stare.
Moment 2:
Background : Room mate's Girlfriend in the house on a weekend.
GF: You guys take a break today, I`ll cook up something special and then we can watch a movie together.
Roomie: Are you sure? I`ve never seen you enter a kitchen in your life.
GF: Wait till you eat the Biryani that's going to be made today, you'll thank your stars that you have me in your life. Just tell me how this Pressure cooker of yours works.
Roomie: Just put in the rice and the veggies into the cooker and it will do the rest.
Two Hours later, the room is filled with a burnt stench.
Roomie: Is it done yet? I`m starting to get hungry and what's that smell?
GF: I`m not quite sure, I used the cooker like you said.
The Roomie and me go take a peek into the cooker to find a Blackened soot of what was supposedly veggies and rice 2 hours ago.
Roomie: What did you?
GF: I put in the veggies and rice like you said, I also added Garam Masala and a some spices.
Roomie: Didn't you add any water?
GF: You didn't tell me to.
Me: Oh Mother Earth, Swallow me NOW !!!
Moment 3:
Background : Viewing highlights of Past Chat Conversations with an erstwhile batch mate I seldom spoke to.
1st Year: We come to college to study no? I don't get how people come in Single into college and walk out with their future spouses.
2nd Year: I think it's ok to freak out a little.
3rd year: I don't think falling for someone is wrong, How foolish was I?
4th Year: Bro, Just proposed to her and she responded positively. I`m so happy, Lets Partyyy. Drinks On Me.
Just as I was going through these past chats, his Chat window flashes on screen
Yesterday: I just spoke to your friend, You're still single? WTF?
Me: Oh Mother Earth, Swallow Me NOWWWW !!!!
hhahahahh POOR CHINESE CHICK WITH THE BIRTHDAY CAKE :D
ReplyDeleteParents I tell you!!!
Hhahahah i am sorry but i am rolling here!! hahaha
:D your roomie's girl is something else I tell you:P
ReplyDeleteAnd Appa seems to have a very awesome opinion of you ;P
Now I have got to see you!!! Please pass on a glimpse before Mother Earth finally obliges ok ;)...laughed all the way machi and you know I need the laughter :D...
ReplyDeletehahaha... your Appa is too much!
ReplyDeleteAnd so is your roomie's gf!!! I dint know there would be people who were worse than me in the kitchen!
bwahahahhahahaa..!!!!
ReplyDeletereally..!!
ur appa..super super..
i know..my appa can be super weird at times and pull a fast one on me..:P :P
aaan..i pity that chinese chick..poor thing..
haha..and ur roomie's Gf..??!!!
aiyoo..wat brainless female..
gahahaha..
m still lolling out here..:D:D:D:D
:D :D :D :D
ReplyDeleteDude, no offence, but your roomie better find a new girlfriend pronto! :D
And isn't it delightful when parents have a very heightened opinion of their children. :P
Red,
ReplyDeleteThe Chinese Chick didnt know she was in for a surprise :D,just that it was a rude one.
Priyanka,
My roomie calls his ladylove - Out of the world, now I get,why :D. Sigh, What unshakable confidence Appa has on me?:D
Machi,
Considering the way things are moving, I`m reasonably sure Mother Earth is going to gobble me up before we meet. Glad you liked it :)
The Girl At First Avenue,
Appa is indeed one of a kind and giving him tough competition is the roomie's ladylove. Take it from me, you're leagues better anyday.
Meoww,
Parents, I tell you, you think you know them when they pull out the carpet underneath you. I actually sometimes do pity the roomie and his relationship.
Spiff,
Yes, I will start the brainwashing process asap :D. Heightened opinion indeed, wouldn't it be totally awesome if they just didn't showcase it to the whole wide world.
haha ! I have 'oh mother earth swallow me' instances too but these are a lot more interesting :P
ReplyDeleteI can't believe I never dropped by such a nice blog until now..
ilikes !;)
Haha good luck with all the three chicks in your life macha :D
ReplyDeleteHey,
ReplyDeleteHilarious post, especially snap back of your Appa :D
Just a suggestion, could you add a 'Like' or the 'Responses' to your blog template so that lazy bums like me could acknowledge appreciating your post without thinking thrice about writing a cool comment to add to the cool post :)
Priyanka Kamath,
ReplyDeleteWould love to read about your - 'Oh Mother Earth, Please Swallow me' moments. Appreciate your comment and your coming by.
Abhishek Ranjith,
One chick is enough to make you go insane Macha. 3 chicks will make me swear Sanyas in no time. Thanks for coming by.
TechnoFlirt,
Appa has mastered the art of snapping back without showing any warning sign whatsoever. Glad you liked the post and thank you for coming by.
That's a good idea, will get on it asap. Would however love to hear your comments besides the like/response clicking. Thank you for the tip as well.
Lol, that was quiet a fun to read!
ReplyDeleteBut I hope mother Earth hasn't swallowed you, how else are we gonna have such nice posts then to read ;)
Parents ~_~
ReplyDeleteFriends' girlfriends ~_~
Engineering ~_~
Am speechless XD. Nice post
Stay Blessed ^_^
Hahahahahaa poor that chinese bday female. Tch tch :p
ReplyDeleteOMG I thought cooker will turn out to be weird or something but she didn't add water? I mean, how can you forget water?? :o
Weird weird weird :p
Awesome post :D
Following you now.
Smita,
ReplyDeleteGlad you found it fun to read. A lot of people want the earth to swallow me, I know, the Chinese neighbor chick surely does :P. Thanks for stopping by.
The Guy in The Mirror,
They are the Holy Trinity that tower high above us mere mortals. Thanks for coming by.
Blahblaholic,
Everyone feels bad for the Chinese girl, No one feels sorry for me? Funny World. The roomie's ladylove is one of a kind.
Welcome aboard and appreciate your coming by.
Ah. Haha. Chinese.. Sigh. And you too. :-)
ReplyDeleteFinally someone sighing for me, where have you been all this while? :D
ReplyDeleteThanks for coming over.
You're spot on missy,the world is full of hypocrites.
ReplyDeleteWelcome Aboard.
*Appa: Dont worry, the girl isn't BLIND to fall for him* LMAO
ReplyDeleteit would be nice if you invite that Oriental babe back to India to meet Amma just for a "chat"
I would love to see her reaction at the airport when she comes to receive you
Oh I know precisely what her reaction would be like; nevertheless would love doing that just for a kick :D.
ReplyDelete