I want to sound wimpy and damn it - I shall

You have been hereby forewarned that another episode of my psychotic ranting and wimping is in session.  

I know I haven't written much on this space to begin with but this month has been the worst - I've only moved as far as an asthmatic ant with some heavy shopping so far as writing is concerned. Yes, I've been away and know fully well that you missed my nonsense - Do I hear nay-Sayers? I`m sure your noses just grew longer.   

So here I am back doing what I do - rant the hair off of my head because this has been one rant worthy month indeed. Changes have come left, right and center and screw up's have happened almost at the speed of light; so bite me if I sound wound up and cranky.

Thunderbolt 1: Donning the role of the Lone wolf

I've always maintained that I don't get homesick because when I feel like its going to set in, I distract myself by claiming to be too awesome to be homesick #TrueStory. In fact I had tricked myself so much that the meaning of homesick had changed to sick of home for me. 

Turns out the roomie made me feel at home since day one and since he had to move to his lady's town for an internship(convenient for him) - I`ve had to slog not only with empty space but with all those memories of the awesome times we've had together. What do you call a person who gets homesick after 2 years? Is there even a term for that?    

Thunderbolt 2: The floor being swept off underneath you.

As the world welcomed February and with it the last few weeks of winter, the month of love and the shortest month of the year; I was rather bluntly informed that my dormitory would be torn down in April to make way for a bigger and more sprawling dormitory. 

To imagine that I am going away from the place I've called home away from home, the place where I got to eat so many different cakes, cookies and pies every week and most importantly the place where I've had the honor of having 12 different people from as many nationalities as neighbors was equivalent to a lower jaw punch to say the least. Just when I thought I was set and getting comfy here - I will have to set up my stuff in some other place; make new floor mates and start over again. Summing up I`m going to have to be - shameless, company less and homeless in a month from now because where I`ll shift to will at best be a room in a dorm but not a home.

Thunderbolt 3: I know what you did in the Exam Hall

I had been raving to all and sundry about this tough cookie cum terror cum monster of an exam that I had last week which involved every freaking module of my bachelor degree and was 5 hours long. I had even begun preparing for it more than a month prior to the date of the exam. If you know me well enough you will realize that for me to take something in life this seriously, I would have to be severely affected by

a)  Terminal disease leading to death.

b) Threatening by a conniving blackmailer.

c)  Watching a weekend marathon of Don 2, Ra One, Ek Deewana Tha and Tell me Oh Khuda and checking my pulse to make sure I was alive.

d)  Giving this exam.

So, The D-Day arrived and I very nervously tried to mask the noise of my chattering teeth and involuntary disco dancing of my trembling feet exhibiting my not so candid fright for this exam by trying to make small talk outside the exam hall with my friends and was pretty sure I was succeeding as much as a Zebra wearing dark glasses attempting to get into a Polar bear only golf club.

Into the exam we went hoping to come out alive and hopefully sane. As the question booklets (What do you think, it's a 5 hour exam - there had to be a booklet) were distributed and people started reading into them, I saw multiple sets of eyes widen, something I had not even seen happen even when they watched a well made horror flick. I knew right then that there was a gang rape ( pardon the language but the word is the closest description of what actually transpired) in the offing. Mentally preparing myself to face the music - even before I get my question booklet, a pair (gf-bf) hand in their materials and leave the hall. 5 minutes into the exam and 2 people had quit already.

An hour into the exam only ten people are left sitting in the exam hall and a few dozen pairs of eyes are staring at me from outside wondering what I could possibly be doing in the middle of a crisis zone. It was a crisis indeed, a large crisis; if you may. In fact a 15 storeyed crisis with plush interiors, carpeting, 24 hour electricity and a large billboard on top that reads in bold - THIS IS A LARGE CRISIS. 

I stuck it out; I lasted 5 hours in that hall. It's anybody's guess what the outcome of the exam was going to be like but I stuck it out - A zen monk was born. Of course there were expletives hurled at the paper setters family - mother and sisters in particular by my generally well meaning but temporarily infuriated Hindi speaking friends at the end of it but I was just glad it was over and so were they.     

   

PS: If you've read the post this far, firstly congratulations and if you thought this sounded like the condensed  version of the Diary of a Wimpy Kid, you're probably right.

That's enough blah for now.