The one in which - I don't mind being a Dog

Today's weird tagline comes to you courtesy of an evening spent with a neighbors canine friend.

As a 7 year old who's many evenings and afternoons were spent sending a ball a million times into an aged couples' garden in the name of cricket; I was fascinated by their dog or more so their love for it because they were childless and it was akin to a child for them. The dog was a recipient of their undivided attention. It lived a blessed existence until the day it breathed its last and made us green with envy just watching the pampering it got from its owners.

This was what a typical day in the life of the neighbor's dog looked like

7.30 AM -  Morning wake up call and Walk to empty bowels.

9.00 AM - Breakfast usually some milk and some fish.

11:00 AM - Weekly visit to the vet for regular check up.

1.00 PM - A multi course lunch.

2.00 PM - Post lunch drive in their car to the nearest Ice cream parlor where the dog would be fed the flavor of the day for desert - Point to note here is that they got the store to supply them with sugar free ice cream because Sugar is apparently not good for the pooches. 

3.00 PM - Post Lunch + Post dessert Siesta on the leather couch with the cooler blazing in full throttle.

6.00 PM - Evening stroll with Owner to enable digestion of food.

7.30 PM - Multi Course Dinner with special meat on selected days.

9.00 PM - Drive in their Vintage Contessa to nearest Kulfi stall for desert.

10.00 PM - Post dessert drive around town because they would complain that the dog refused to sleep without a late night drive.

11.00 PM - Lights Out.

Now, I`m no big believer in the Reincarnation Theory but if it is indeed true - I wouldn't mind being a dog in one such household; After all one does need a fallback option in the afterlife :P.

  

Wait for it - Now wait some more

Ladies and the one Gentleman who read this space, you know who you are - I have news for you; I am the alive (thanks for the yawn) and have been on a mundane streak with absolutely nothing to share on this space which ideally means that the contents of the hand tissue that you cleaned your lip with after lunch would have been more interesting than the stuff I would have littered here. 

Now that we have that sham of an excuse in place, I`m going to come out with the truth - I always knew this was going to happen sooner or later and its finally caught up with me. Its No 2 on my list of nightmares after Judgement Day 2012 which we all know to be the Gospel truth but I`m going on a tangent here because the issue at hand is something we popularly know as Yips or Writer's Block.

Any amount of time spent staring at the screen does not seem to help because the idea's are simply not flowing or at best I end up writing incoherent meaningless stuff that have a stench worse than the main line of the Metropolitan Sewage system which I wouldn't want to read myself let alone subjecting you folks to it. 

I was someone who presumed until now that writer's block was a figment of one's failure to imagine and generate new idea's but let me assure you that is as real as tooth decay which needs a painful root canal apart from the nagging ache that disrupts your daily routine. What makes this fascinating and frustrating at the same time is that Writer's block has no parallel; Eater's don't experience Eaters block nor do walkers experience walkers block then why is it such a pain in the hind?    

Various techniques ranging from spending time in the most creative room in the world - the loo to taking hour long showers to this have all been tried and they all failed with flying colors. I really am at wits end staring at the seemingly tangerine bucket that seems to mock at me for not kicking it.

I even tried writing a poem, be forewarned that I suck at poetry and never really understand it.

Here are the words I sing,

Evil is a horrid thing,

I sing sing sing,

Dinga linga ling.

See, I even made them rhyme - Go on shoot me now; You have unrestricted permission.

Does anybody know what to do to kick Writer's Block on its hind?