A Letter to Amma

Dear Amma

                    It was 5.00 Am on a drizzly Wednesday when you were born; today you woke up under the exact same conditions as you did when you came out of Amma-ma's belly to another busy day filled with work,work and more work. Sleepily you rolled your hair into a messy bun and went to put on the coffee machine for your first of many coffees that day. Along the way smiling to yourself for being the Coffee Guzzler; drinking 7 coffees a day has been your only addiction, which you have vowed to kick but have miserably failed at. The warm hug that your daughter (who snuck up from behind) gave you with a kiss on the cheek coupled with a loud Scream of Happy Birthday AMMA made your day today because you clearly choked when you said so to me on our skype session.

You, mother have turned another year older today, though you don't make a big deal out of your birthday, this year I thought I would write a post about you to just try and comprehend how much you have grown from the coy 22 year old first time mother to the confident PhD holding Professor and super-mom of 2 that you are today. 

      

I confess, I've always been a Mama's boy (There, I've squandered whatever little hope I had with the single ladies :P) and I'm proud of it because you are not one teeny tiny bit the spoon feeding type, because I was told  you would give me food on a plate even as a two year old to eat by myself;  even though I would end up spitting and spilling most of it around me, you made it a point not to feed me as you wanted me to be self-sufficient from an early age. Being a teacher, you have and still always insist on people doing their own thing, however simple or complicated they might be. You are the epitome of stubbornness; when you have your eye set on something, you will wait for the opportune moment  to pounce on it and  be rest assured that you always get what you want, that's something I desperately need to learn from you. I just find it difficult to imagine as to how you managed to do your under graduation as a 22 year old with a kid to take care of and later on also worked on your post graduation and doctoral work while taking care of me and the kid sister. When the sister and I  were of the school going age, I distinctly remember you siting with us for our daily study sessions in the evening while you tended to the household work and also did your research simultaneously; you have basically had an 18 hour day for the last 22 years at the least and I have not once seen you grumble or curse your fate. I reminisce how I would proudly announce to anyone and everyone that you were and still are the most qualified person in our family. Mind you, that's difficult to achieve when you have an I.I.T educated husband by your side, but you, my PhD holding mother have always been my hero because you have been a fighter all your life; struggling with difficult bosses, taking care of a bed ridden mother-in-law and managing a household in which the husband travels 15 days a month while clearly holding fort is not something anyone would bargain for in a marriage, but you have been the Rahul Dravid of our home for the last 24 years, stamping your class and elegance in your every single action. 

Although you still cannot come to grips with operating that mobile phone of yours or use a laptop without someone's assistance, you still are the undisputed Official Lizard and Cockroach Slayer at home, a post I maintain even Appa is too scared to handle despite his towering presence at home. I could go on and on about you, but words will not do justice to describe the Awesome, Warm, Angelic and Tough cookie attributes that god has so magically and beautifully rolled into one human being -  YOU. 

HAPPY BIRTHDAY AMMA 

Your Son

Atrocious 

Heights of Jawblessness

This is by far the most jobless I've been in a while. Ironic considering I have to give 8 exams this month but all I`m doing is visiting kickass blogs, reading them, commenting on them and then feeling guilty that I haven't finished my day's quota of study. Bah, it's almost customary during exam season to feel guilty for not having worked hard enough.

This is what I chanced upon on the internet during my random loitering there.

Brilliant Worded Sarcastic Replies to Signboards -

TSCHAU !!!

Punishment or Prize ???

Ever wonder if punitive action(punishment) can actually double as a prize ???

I live in a Student Dormitory, which is quite different from the Hostels that we have back home. What's the difference, you ask? - Tomato, Tomaato, that's what it is.

The major difference between the two being that you have a kitchen at your disposal to cook and experiment with whatever you want, as opposed to eating nauseating Mess food in Indian hostels. I`m sure you've heard this cliche N number of times before - 'Its tough being a vegetarian', so you dont really get much in terms of choice at eat-outs here in Europe and considering food prices here don't generally go through the roof, self cooking cuts costs by as much as 60 % compared to eating out every meal.

Here's a pic of my kitchen(Awesome, Ain't it ???)

Did I forget to mention it is a shared kitchen for a floor of 15 people ??? Hence the magnanimity.

Coming back to the title, on our floor, we have this schedule in place for cleaning the oven, taking out the trash, making trash bags available, cleaning the common room and stuff like that. So in a month long period one person does the oven cleaning, while another person takes out the trash , a third person cleans the common room and so on. When someone misses out their duty, as punishment, it was mutually decided that the defaulter must bake cakes or cook an exotic dinner for the entire floor.

So, in the last two weeks, we have had 4 defaulters who have gifted us 3 different cakes (imagine someone baking a 5 tier cake for 15 people, God Bless You) and one exotic dinner (Turkish Food = Yumm) in total.

Here's what one batch of Kakao Brownies looked like. (Gets me salivating just thinking about them)

Here's praying for a greater defaulter frequency and before I scamper off to eat those lovely cinnamon muffins that a neighbor baked yesterday, Three Cheers to punishment and to more yummy food, cakes and the likes !!!

Use and Throw

1. Use and Throw - People

3 Months Ago

B works for an IT Major, is pretty well educated and is a thorough gentleman. He quietly goes about his business, helping those in need whenever and however he can. His betrothal comes as a surprise to many of his friends, colleagues, acquaintances and well-wishers who always had it in the back of their heads that B would have a love marriage. One day like any other, as he takes his company bus homeward , he is stabbed in the abdomen by a group of assailants just as he deboards the bus. He is immediately ferried to the hospital, where he is admitted into critical care and given timely treatment. The doctor reports to his family, who have been alerted in the meanwhile; that their son has suffered multiple stab wounds and is in a coma owing to the shock of being stabbed. The motive behind the stabbing is unknown - declare the Police with whom a formal complaint is lodged before throwing the case file into their ever growing pile of cases.

3 Months Hence - Present Day

B recovers from a coma but is still in very bad shape. He now has to contend with a torn abdomen and partly torn intestine as a result of the stabbing apart from the agony and shock of being stabbed. The firm he worked for have now taken him off their payroll as the doctor has advised him a year's duration of bed rest. He is now physically and mentally drained.

His fiance is nowhere to be seen in this entire hospital drama. He re-assures himself that the only constants in his life are his soon to be wife, his parents and his close circle of friends. She comes visiting once he is shifted from the hospital and asks for a meeting with him in private. He assumes wrong.

B's fiance confesses in their private meeting that B was stabbed by her ex-lover who was outraged that she chose a more sophisticated and enterprising mate for herself while two-timing him. The ex-lover was not one to take things lying down. After all if she had the nerve to give him the bitter treatment, all he did was tit for tat. She pleaded innocence and apologized profusely to B for not informing him of her past and begged for his forgiveness. B then goes on to ask her, why she decided to marry him despite having a special someone in her life, to which she mind numbingly mumbles- I don't know.

B then calls off the wedding and takes a sabbatical from his career, for there is precious little he can do, he is now battered both literally and figuratively.

2. Use and Throw - Animals

We love the company of pets(well, some of us do !!!). Besides human contact, pets probably provide the closest simulation of what we humans perceive as love, attention and affection. The following was a scene to which my friend was a witness.

1st August, 7 AM

As I was drinking my morning cuppa on the balcony chair, in the company of the newspaper, I noticed a car coming to a screeching halt. I put down the paper and went to see where the sound came from. I noticed a young couple(20 something) got down from the car, crossed and went to a roadside eatery where they purchased something to eat and signaled for the dog to come. The well trained dog construing his masters order comes to the eatery where he is directed to the food. The dog now focuses all his attention on the food put before him and does not notice his master and mistress fleeing towards and away in their car. He starts to give chase but is too old and weak for it. The dog while in chase of his master's car is run over by a truck. The dog's misery of being deserted by his master and mistress is brought to a snappy end.

Question 1: Has Use and Throw become far too commonplace nowadays?

Question 2: Does Use and Throw have no morality attached to it?

Question 3: Do the practitioners of Use and Throw think they will remain unaffected by their own philosophy?

Question 4: Does the application of this philosophy have any boundaries? If so, what are they?

Question 5: Will there be any humanity left if this philosophy gains momentum? From the looks of it, Old Age homes are not getting any lesser by the day nor are the rates of Female Foeticide.

PS: My Sincerest apologies if you thought this post got a tad too serious, have been wanting it off my chest for a while now. Believe me when I tell you it was eating away my insides.

As Phillmee as Filmy can get

I assure you the title is certainly not a misnomer to what is going follow.

This post is written proof of the filmy surprise that I got very recently. It really made me think if the Real does sometimes transform into the surreal . Lets cut to the actual story now.

Do you remember the first time you met that cousin(s)? Yes, the exact same one who's so close to you now, that you can practically share anything and everything in the world. The way they transcend the bond of blood and ease into friendship with such sublimity, that you start wondering where they were; all this while.

Now, as you know, I came to Germany for my masters and have been here for a good 11 months now. As I slowly started to settle in and make contacts with Indians and non-Indians alike. I came across scores of people who I would run into enroute to my lectures, at the supermarket or at restaurants, most of whom would give me their brightest fake smile, make small talk and get on with their busy lives. In the very same way, I came across this chap who I met at Badminton sessions. Funny Guy(Chandler type funny) who couldn't hold a badminton racket properly.

Now since we played together for almost a month and him being from India(Duh!!!), I went all Indian on him, asking him which program he was doing, where he was from, where he stayed and the likes. So he just answered saying he was here on his semester abroad, was from Hyderabad and a few rounds of blah blah blah later, we parted for the day.

Next time I run into him, at a common friends' place,The Indian curiosity in me boils over and I ask him for a few more details. 3 rounds of head scratching, 4 phone calls to each of our homes and an hour later; turns out his mum and mine are first cousin's. Which inturn makes us Second Cousins. Now, not in the wildest of my dreams would I have imagined running into a blood relative some 25000 miles away from home; better yet, one I didn't even know existed; till about a week ago.

So to celebrate the occasion of having found the Long lost-never before known cousin, the common friend who was a silent spectator to all of this, in his filmy driven frenzy asks us to run in slow motion towards each other screaming 'Bhaiiiiiiiii' while he kept playing the 'Hello Brother' theme on youtube on full volume till his roommates came and started giving him dirty stares for playing corny Salman Khan songs. So being the large hearted souls that we are, we agreed to his demand while he filmed it on his camera phone. He has however sworn not to put it on youtube, but being the slimy backstabber that he is, I suspect he has already uploaded it onto youtube. So the next time you're watching some cheesy - Guy meets long lost Brother video on youtube, I could be in your recommendation list or in the video you just watched; for all you know.

This whole business has been cheesy all throughout , so more cheesiness for Desert

http://www.animationarcade.com/animation/longlostbrother.html

PS: I`m not touching cheese or anything remotely connected to cheese for another month at the least. Sheesh !!!! Did someone say Cheese Cake???? :D