365 - Calls for a Glass of Orange Juice

Exactly a year to the day is when my tryst with blogging began. I distinctly remember being completely blank about the whole concept of blogging and kept muttering the word 'blog' a minimum of 1008 times in every possible intonation that afternoon to try and get my head around the nitty-gritties of blogging. It goes without saying that I still have a long long way to go but I can safely say I`m not stuck at where I started off.

My blog is something that I've aspired to be in life - A Giver. It has been a giver since its inception and I'm fairly convinced it will continue to function in this capacity to its final day and moment. All along it has given, given and given some more. If on one occasion it has given me the freedom of expression, it  has simultaneously given me a hobby, a past time and a long term activity.       

The blog has been a magical flying carpet of sorts in accompanying me from the safe cradle of the motherland to journeys across several nations, seas and places; travelling with me, part taking in my adventures, wacky experiences and life lessons. It has often doubled, tripled or even quadrupled as my personal punching bag, rant chamber and a platform which gives me the comfort of pouring out my nonsense. 

It has given me an outlet to mould my barely existent creativity into posts which sometimes have to be written to get a load off my chest or when I have a perspective, idea or notion to share with the world. Importantly it has provided a counter where, what I share is read, critiqued and commented upon by like minded people; otherwise to paraphrase the intelligent soul who came up with this line - I would be no different than an idiot talking to himself, only a blog.

It is these very people who's inputs, comments, critiques and feedback have fed the blog with a steady charge to keep surging ahead one post at a time and in the process helped me grow as a blog writer and a human being that I want to applaud and am much grateful for.

So join me in raising a glass of Orange Juice (I don't do Alcohol :P) to celebrate one year of my blog's existence with the promise that I keep spamming your dashboard's/monitors with more of my nonsense in the foreseeable future.

Cheers :)              

   

        

Made in Germany

When I first set out to study abroad, travel and have life experiences; the concept of gelling into the surroundings was alien to me because I'd taken for granted that it would happen seamlessly as it had all along until then and 'Surprise-Surprise' it did. My first year in Germany as an International Student slid over as smoothly as the first cup of coffee on a hangover morning - no complaints whatsoever. So much so, that my parents had to persuade and plead with me to come home for a vacation.

Having been here long enough to notice that there are certain aspects that most definitely fall into the purview of Culture Shock, the dimwit that I am, I've begun noticing them only now.

1. Time 

'Am I ok? Leonard, I am on a lifelong trajectory that includes a Nobel Prize and cities named after me. All 4 Wisdom teeth fit comfortably in my mouth without need of extraction and my bowel movements run like a German train schedule - Am I ok? *typical Sheldon snigger* ' - Sheldon Lee Cooper

The German obsession for time is famous the world over and is one of the pillars in their success story. The demanded accuracy is in minutes and late coming of any sort is utterly looked down upon as incompetence. Even TV/radio shows start at oddest time intervals - for example the 8'O clock news on a few channels begins at 7.52 PM.

The accuracy of their public transport is probably tuned to the second on many occasions. There are updated printed schedules of buses and trains in every station and one often notices buses and trains pulling into the railway station at the same time if their schedules happen to coincide. With such a high degree of precision, it is not uncommon to note people tuning their wrist watches based upon the arrival and departure of buses or trains.

Two incidents come to mind -

a) A crowd (max 12 people - that's what constitutes a crowd here) was assembled at a bus station in anticipation of a bus. When the bus arrived 2 minutes late, an old gentleman actually went and asked the driver why he was late by 2 minutes; the driver apologized for being late and assured the gentleman that he would make up the time in the remainder of the journey. 

b) A train was set to depart at 12.53 PM and the Roomie who had just landed into Germany and armed with the Indian Stretchable Time reached there promptly at 12.53 PM to see the train depart from the platform leaving him behind.

2. Beer

There is a famous joke doing the rounds that Beer and not hemoglobin runs in German blood; I`m beginning to think that there's some truth to it now. The Beer obsession comes in a close second after time, anything and everything right from the your lawn being freshly mowed to getting a PhD elicits a beer. It is without doubt their favorite drink and costs cheaper than water in many places.

Beer rivalries are like football club rivalries and have fanatic following which are decades or sometimes even centuries old. What this means is that Beer brewed in one city will not be consumed if sold in some other city due to the rivalry and if despite that you choose to disrespect the local beer - the least you can expect is people giving you dirty stares if not a sound thrashing. It is noteworthy to add that each Football club has its own official brewery from which fans will drink during their games at stadiums, bars and pubs.

Also, don't ever bother passing off foreign beer brands as world famous to a German. The following is a reply I got when I did - Friend, let me tell you how foreign beer is made. They make a raging bull drink Berliner(Famous German Beer) and when it poops - you get all the foreign Beer brands, because that's all they are - a load of Bull Crap.

3. Cars

Home to the biggest, oldest and the most famous car makers in the world, it is no wonder that the Germans are obsessed with cars - importantly German made cars. The popularity of German cars is too well known for their excellent performance, sleek looks and brand image. It is precisely these aspects that make a German thump his chest in pride while whizzing across the Autobahn at over 200 km/h.     

It is blasphemy for a German to buy a foreign made car despite it being pocket friendly, having classier features, cheaper insurance or even better performance. Although you do see the likes of many a foreign car manufacturer plying their products on the market, they have still not been able to shake the traditional German mindset and make inroads into it.

What is your experience of Culture shock?

    

             

      

Getting worked up - Why ?

The times we live in are indeed confusing. Stress, Pressure and depression that were previously commonplace  terminologies in hospitals, therapy sessions and psychology textbooks have become household words. If this is any indicator of the pace of our times or the general deterioration of the quality of lives that we lead is something that is thoroughly debatable.  

 

I happened to come across a survey that claimed that a staggering 87% of Indian women feel stressed out most of time and that certainly bummed me out to begin with for I feel we have been blessed with the most beautiful mothers, sisters, gal pals and wives. I mean imagine our lives without them -

1. We would certainly have dirty dishes, stinking laundry and a house that looks like a its been hit by a tornado every single day of the year.

2. We would have nothing to eat in the fridge and still be stinking be stinking with body odor.

3. We would still be fighting wars which began for no apparent rhyme or reason -  picture anything ranging from not being given a slot on the playstation to who should shower first or rather should we shower at all.

4. Kids would inevitably become psychopaths, drug addicts and serial killers by the time they reach their teens.

5. Homosexuality would most definitely be a thing.       

Lets just say without women and their influence, the world would indeed be a terrible place to live in. This responsibility alone is stressful and could bum any human being out. That said, I reckon the ladies could learn a thing or two from men on how to counter being stressed out. 

Here's the 'Atrocious' take on Why men are never depressed?

Men are just simple and happier beings. Food, beer and cars is all it takes to make us your buddy, sometimes even a dude or a bro. A peanut butter and jelly sandwich 10 minutes before lunch does not count as an appetizer, it is merely a signal to let the stomach know that more food is coming its way and importantly chocolate is just another snack.    

For starters, we don't ask you if we look fat in the red hoodie or the blue one or don't have to worry about wearing a white T-shirt to a water park because its perfectly ok to go topless to a water park. We also don't care how our legs look like when we wear shorts and our wedding tuxedo rent costs about 10% of your dress. Our inner wear hardly costs anything, lasts long and most definitely doesn't have strap problems and importantly people don't stare at our chests when we talk to them.

We can easily sport a completely bald, partially bald or an obnoxious hairstyle without as much as a squeak; heck we even have the same hairstyle for decades and graying or wrinkles adds to our charm. Everything on our faces stays in the same shape and color, we only have to shave our faces and also have a say on whether or not we should sport a mustache.

If someone forgets to invite us he/she can still be a friend and a small act of thoughtfulness reaps us great rewards. One pair of denims and shoes which never cut, blister or mangle our feet are more than sufficient for a five day vacation. We don't need directions - both on the road as well as how to tighten a screw and vehicle mechanics always tell us the truth.

We are totally allowed to play with toys, games and pranks all our lives. Our phone conversations last upto a minute under extreme circumstances and the whole world is a urinal. We have a single and perennial mood all our lives and can do wedding shopping for 25 relatives in 25 minutes. 

PS: I fully well know its a sexist post so hardcore feminists are allowed to have a hard on, not that I would care.